A Better World

Today is a continuation of Wednesday’s blog.  As I finished reading the essays, they reminded me of the power of a positive attitude.  At thirty-one, I have come to the realization a positive attitude, not only makes my life easier and better, it is reflected in those of whom I interact.  The essays raise the point to me that, again, acceptance, is still there, we just need to be on the search for it.  Perhaps, it is there, but we are blind to it.  To read these students’ sentiments lightened my heart to such a degree I believe a better world for all is to come.

Changes to Come

Today, I had the opportunity to read essays written by local students who ranged across the grade levels of primary school and, let me just say, it truly amazed me!  These writings opened my eyes to the changing attitudes about those who have disabilities from when I attended school; a long time ago, I admit.  I read phrases such as “no one should be treated different just because of the way they’re born,” and “so next time you see a person with disabilities, remember to have a good attitude because who knows?  Maybe your smile can change their confidence.”  Let me tell you I was totally in awe!  Hooray for these kids!

Back when I attended school, especially middle and high, there was a stigma attached to the differently abled and I felt the sting of it everyday.  Let me say it made a lasting impression on my psyche.  Unfortunately, it took me years to overcome the pain and hurt.  Now, as I read these essays, I feel a surge of excitement about the accepting and caring approach that these children exhibit.  What a breath of fresh air!  Perusing the essays served as a beacon of hope to me for our future generations.  It excites me to imagine what is to come!

Waiting

For those who know me, I love poetry; to read and write it.  Today, I looked through my old stack of poetry and I came across one that fit my mood perfectly, so I thought I'd share one with you.  Read and enjoy!

Waiting

My pen stands in eerie expectancy.

I sit in silence, waiting for words to come.

As I look at the paper, so virgin—

so untouched, so utterly blank.

Write anything, I think, anything at all, and I mar this paper

and deface it forever.

Fear grips my very heart and soul,

stops me. 

I cannot conjure up suitable lines to be worthy

to adorn this page. 

I realize and gasp in disbelief

and silently scream.

I reel in horror.

Words are gone, lost, stomped upon by the critics.

All my dreams—my soul yearning to be free—lost.

My words are so violently taken away—

squeezed out of my being.

I sit expectantly, hoping, praying. waiting—

Or are my dreams really lost?—

Am I dreading what is not?

Before I am aware of it,

Images fill my paper without

my knowledge.

I have unauthorized fears, I realize,

and know the words will come again—

if I’m patient and wait. 

Church

Last night, I had the privilege of attending a Mennonite church service with my friend, Alta.  Once again, as I prepared to go, I had the old, gnawing feeling of being different from everyone else.  This time, though, my curiosity overrode my fear, and I decided it was a great opportunity.  I knew I would remember and treasure it forever.

As we entered the church, heads turned to witness our arrival.  It struck me how these complete strangers smiled and nodded.  They even came up to me to ask my name!  As we proceeded through the service, it amazed me that this community was the same as my own, yet different.  I did not feel uncomfortable, like so many instances.  After, many of the ladies engaged me in conversation.  I have attended many church services throughout the years, but my hunch was correct; I had been presented an opportunity of a lifetime.  I will always remember how these kind people reacted to a complete stranger, and welcomed her with opened arms.  Everybody, I think, should follow their example.

Happy Anniversary

Wow, it’s hard to believe it’s been two weeks since I began my internship at United Cerebral Palsy. I absolutely love it. It amazes me an organization, such as UCP, touches the lives of so many people in so many ways. To be part of that is awesome! I feel a great sense of accomplishment because I dreamed of this moment for years. This is the culminating event in my mind. To be honored with such an opportunity is still astonishing.As one of my first assignments, I read Get Up, Your Bus is Here by Stephen Dantzig. I was in total awe of his determination, and, ultimately, success. In his book, he leaves readers with parting advice, “the risks are greater, so are the payoffs. Don’t fear success.” Even though that is true for all of us, which is especially true for me. Payoffs are much greater than risks. My internship proves that everyday!

Success

Today, I thought about the true definition of success and what it meant for me.  “Success”, according to the dictionary is, “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”.  That is true in a way, yet not.  To me, success partly means moving forward in life’s journey, (and it is certainly a journey), but that is not all it includes.  As I’ve matured, I have come to the realization success is defined by the difference a person makes in the lives of others.

As I venture on my internship, still another leg of my journey, I wonder if I will fit my own meaning of the word “success”.  Only time will tell. 

Acceptance

At times, we all need to feel accepted in one way or another; to fit into societal norms and be just one of the “crowd”. For me, it is a constant battle. As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve learned to accept the stares and whispers as part of my everyday life. I had an experience this weekend that opened my eyes to the kindness and acceptance of total strangers.

 

 

One of my friends, who is a Mennonite, invited me to a “hymn sing” for the first time last Saturday evening at her Grandmother’s home. As the day grew closer, I became more apprehensive; would the participants stare at me or turn their heads, not even acknowledging my presence?

The day arrived, and my anticipation grew. As my friend and I pulled into the driveway, a welcoming committee of smiling faces greeted us. The singing commenced, and my heart swelled. Uplifted by the chorus of voices and the approving nods that came my way, I had the feeling of being “one’ with the group; a feeling I rarely have. It has been three days, and I’m still aglow because I was part of this event. It reminded me in this world, there are individuals who accept you for who you are, you just need to be patient enough to find them.

The Worlds of Emily Dickinson and I Collide

“I dwell in possibility.”  What powerful words written by Emily Dickinson over a century ago.  To me, the words remain fresh and relevant to this day.  As I think of her later life; sheltered, protected, shut out from the outside world, I wonder if she found poetry, or writing in general, an outlet for her dreams, hopes and aspirations.  Now as I write this, I realize I am like Emily Dickinson, in a way, relying on the power of words to convey my innermost hopes and dreams.  Maybe I have something in common with her: the desire and ability to share my private thoughts and give a voice for those who cannot speak.  “I dwell in possibility” is a motto that we all should heed, I think, even in our darkest moments.

My Journey Through the Internship

Today, it officially began; my long awaited and anticipated summer internship with UCP Central PA. I waited for this moment for six long months. Now, it is here. I’m on the edge of a precipice, I thought, as I lay in bed this morning. All my years of hard work as a college student have come to fruition.

After my initial meeting today (my first day on the job, so to speak), I gained a new perspective on the working world and how I, Hope Johnson, have the ability to affect change dearest to my heart and very being.  It dawned on me that I can utilize my skills as a writer to garner change.  The whole thing is mind boggling to me!  One thing I’m committed to:  I WILL AFFECT CHANGE IN THE LIVES OF SO MANY PEOPLE.  What a revelation.  It is something to keep in mind as I journey through the internship.  I hope I’m worthy of such a task!