Cheering Him On

I came upon this news clip today and thought it was totally inspiring.  Even though it is old, this shows what true determination brings if one has a mindset for success.  Once again, I thank you for your continuing support as I embark on my final semester!  Writing my blog has been one of the joys of my weekly routine for 2 ½ years and I’m truly grateful for your readership!  And now, the video!

P.S. I'm so sorry about the sound!  If you mute it, it's worth watching :)

Winter's Trek

Below is a poem I wrote a few years ago.  Although it’s old, I think it’s fitting for the season.  I hope you all had a great Christmas, and wish you the best for an amazing start to 2014!

         I

As the winter winds begin to blow,

and as the trees casts shadows on the newly fallen snow,

I feel the wintry gusts fill my very heart and soul.

Is it the wind I fear, or something much more near?

I wonder. 

         II

I walk along the snow-laden path,

thinking of the fire in the hearth at home

and my heart fills with glee at the prospect of a warm bed,

dispelling everything of fear of menace, leaving warmth.

Oh yes, the winter winds blows near, but I am safe and that has made all the difference.

         III

When I was a child, I think, I was simple-minded,

as I walk through the snow.

Life and death seemed like a game to me,

as if handling a ball of fire and never getting burned.

I laugh at my ignorance and self-absorbance as make my way along the snowy path.

The feeling of comfort fades, but its light is still dimly seen through the bows of the trees.

IV

Again, my fear grows.  Old fears and suspicions rise.

Home is nowhere in sight.

I gasp, faltering to the ground.

Is it ever going to end, I wonder.  Is this unceasing cold all I am ever going to know.

“No, I tell myself.  The light of home is just around the corner.  Keep pressing and you’ll find it.”

I get up and walk a few more paces. 

V

There it is!  Home at last.

My joy soars.

I run towards the glittering lights in the windows.

Yes, I am truly home.  Let the winter winds blow,

for I am home…Fears and self-doubts melt away, 

leaving me with a joyful feeling of

home and family.

Summer’s End

Today, I sadly admit is the last day of my internship with UCP.  I thought I’d celebrate with a poem.  Again, thank you for your support.  I'll return to my Friday schedule next week, so keep your eyes peeled for more of my ramblings!  And now, my poem!

The wind in the trees tells of summer’s demise,

like a long-lost-friend beckoning to come home again—

I pause, knowing this is the end—

the end of a mystical, magical time—

I try to grasp harder, try to get a better hold of it all—

but time, time in its infinite wisdom says it is all for not—

I grasp to no avail—

“Was it “A Midsummer Night’s Dream?” I ask, slightly confused—

No, I realize—

it’s that brief time when everything’s right in the world—

a utopia of sorts—

soon to be gone—

Only to be spoken as myth to the young—

To be forgotten—

A brief time, indeed—

Never to be rediscovered—

To be remembered as a time in the sun—

There’ll be other summers certainly—

But this, this one is etched on my mind

For all time—

Eternity—

The winter wind will not erase the joy

felt in my heart—

My very being—

For this brief time

Indeed, summer will come again!

From a Cocoon to a Butterfly

Today, as I reflected upon my internship with UCP during this summer, an image of a beautiful butterfly floated into my brain.  It seems to me, at least, I finally broke out of my tightly wound and protected cocoon and emerged as a free, unfettered butterfly; able to affect change wherever I go.  I must say my time at UCP afforded me the biggest gift of all, the gift of confidence.  As I embark on my final fall semester at Messiah College, the wondrous image of that unfettered butterfly will stay at the forefront of my mind, but more importantly, in the center of my inner being!

Thanks to UCP’s staff for letting me be that butterfly…You’ll never know how much that means!

The Key to Happiness

“Independence is happiness”

~ Susan B. Anthony

Today, I stumbled on this quote by accident and thought it would be good blog fodder.  I’ve always been an admirer of Susan B. Anthony and her quest for women’s rights, but this quote stretches beyond her cause, I think.  If there is independence of the mind itself, it causes the greatest happiness—the greatest worthiness in oneself.  Sometimes, we lose that happiness—that omnipresent freedom we only find in the celebration in our uniqueness.  So, honor your independence, for it is the key to happiness!

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Letting Go

This week, as I perused articles that were of interest, I came across one that spoke directly to me.  A mom who had an autistic son wrote a fabulous article describing how she and her husband grieved for the lost opportunities their son would never experience.  She explained the sadness they felt watching their son grow.  In the grieving process, though, she recognized the grief took on a life all of its own, robbing her of living in the present moment and enjoying her son for who he was.  Reading this article caused me to draw parallels in my own life.  In my teenaged years, I dreamed what my life could have been, minus the Cerebral Palsy, so completely that it led me down a dark path; so dark I was afraid it would engulf me.  After traveling this path for a little while, I recognized I grieved for the might-have-beens and that robbed me of everyday life.  I can now say I lead a happier life now that I’ve let go of that image; that fantasy.  Letting go of might-have-beens is hard, but is worth it in the end!

For those who are interested in reading the article, it is http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-krug/grieving-for-the-other-owen_b_3526763.html?ncid=webmail10 .  It’s certainly a good read!

Summer Days

Today, I reflected on the significance on summer and its meaning.  As a young child, I loved to sit out in the sun, basking in its glow.  I still love to do this, but summer has a deeper meaning now.  As I look outside my window, I notice everything is in bloom.  I liken this to my mind, fully in its glory, the sun giving it energy and welcoming me to convey my innermost thoughts and feelings to the world, if I am only willing. 

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Words

This week, as I began my internship with United Cerebral Palsy of Central PA, I pondered where an individual’s gift of words originates; to still or move the heart by the written language.  Why are we so captivated by the art itself?  A little word can have so much impact, beyond the word itself.  I’ve always been intrigued by this question and impacted by this even as a little girl.  Even as I write this blog, I choose my words so carefully, so succintly.  I feel the impending excitement, as I did last summer, that I hold the power to captivate just by the pressure of my toe, striking each key, and I thank my audience for putting this all at my “feet.”  For that, I am truly grateful!

Have a great weekend!

Ido in Autismland

Today, as I began to do some preliminary research on the book Ido in Autismland, my first assignment for United Cerebral Palsy this summer, the universal truth struck me again that our inner being comes from the same vein.  Although I knew this concept, wading through the research today only reinforced the fact.  It is pertinent not to judge someone outwardly, as many are apt to do.  Even without reading the entire book, I have the sense that I’m in for a treat.  Indeed, I’m looking forward to reading this heartwarming story!

Inspiring Take

While completing a project for one of my classes, I found this cool video and I wanted to share with you.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Friends

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I received a card today with this saying from a dear friend and it spoke volumes to me.  With the end of the semester rapidly approaching, I sometimes forget the value of friends.  Those friends give the impotus to carry on, no matter the burden.  They do for me, at least. and that keeps me afloat in daunting days.  Thank you for those who have faith in me, for it diminishes all barriers I face in this world!

Gifts

As you may already know, new adventures entice me, especially if it involves a different way of life.  This week, I had the privilege of visiting a Mennonite school, where my friend, Ann, teaches.  I have to say it was the most refreshing experience I had for a long time.  Ann teaches a special class, and her kindness and patience with her student amazed and even caused my heart to sing.

After leaving Ann’s classroom, I visited another, and to my amazement, the teacher displayed the same attitude as Ann.  Pondering my own primary school experience, I wondered if my educational quest would have been a more positive journey if the same attitude prevailed.  Leaving the school, I discovered a revelation, maybe one that I knew, but never put it in words.  The acts of kindness and patience carry a special gift to both giver and receiver.  It is a chance for a giver to watch seeds of kindness grow and take root, and the receiver gains the gift of faith, faith to show the world their inner self!  What precious gifts!

Christmas Revelation

I hope you all had a splendid Christmas Day.  I know I did.  Surrounded by the warm and familiar love of family and friends, I delighted in their presence and the spirit of Christmas.  This week was a reminder of what the holiday always represents to me…a time for rejoicing and celebrating in how good my life truly is!  I just love those times when we discover how blessed we are.  It makes it all worth it in the end.

Happy New Year!

Blessings

Everyday, but especially at this time of year, I consider all the blessings I have in my life.  Usually, the list includes a great Mom, wonderful friends and overall a super life, but there is one thing about Cerebral Palsy that affects some who have the condition.  It is not one of the challenges I face.

In my English class, we were assigned to do an “Interest Group” project.  My partner and I decided to research the link between literacy and Cerebral Palsy.  Going into the project, I assumed everyone with Cerebral Palsy had the same literacy abilities I have or close.  Surprisingly, though, I came to the realization that this was not the case.  Sadly, literacy for some who have Cerebral Palsy is a dream, which never comes true.  This week, I feel especially lucky that I had grandparents who taught me the value of the written word and that they were there every step of the way through my early educational life.  One of my many wishes this month is for those who have Cerebral Palsy, or are generally disabled to have a guiding force in their life, such as my grandparents were in mine, to show and share the power of the written word.  Hopefully, I will see that goal realized within my life span.

Goals

Hello,

I hope all of you had a good week.  Five minutes ago, something inspired me to write this poem.  Again, I thank you for visiting my blog on a weekly basis, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!  Have a good weekend, and survive the storm!

There’s a goal within my reach—

which I have waited

With baited breath,

Sighs,

Tears

and laughter—

A goal—

Only a reflection in my mind—

A goal I held so dear

no one knew my silent dream—

And now, now, it is here—

Here, never to be relinquished—

Never to be mind again; never to

Dwell in the darkness of my soul—

Never to take refuge in my innermost heart—

A goal, which the entire world will see;

To hear and heed—

I only hope I have the strength to confront

That goal.

Will it swallow me with its great with enthusiasm—

Or will it lap at my heels—

Friendly and kind?

Only time will tell—

Only time will tell!

My Voice

I hope everyone had a good week.  I've decided to post a newly written poem I created for my English class this week.  I hope you all enjoy and comments are welcome.  Have a fantastic weekend! 

My Voice

It was summer; the summer after high school graduation,

all the fanfare gone,

all the anticipated success gone—

There I sat in my bedroom—

Waiting for what was to come—

Waiting to hear my voice—

A voice that could not be heard

Over the static of my own inhibitions—

Lost in a crowd of my mind,

I reached out to find my own voice—

A single, solitary voice that was mine. 

Diminished by imaginary voices, I reached towards my authentic being—

My real voice—

Traveling to that place, I felt in awe of my power—

My own rhythm—

My own sense of myself—

It was a new world—

A new, uncharted land.

At first, I was afraid,

Afraid to unleash that voice inside.

I knew was always there,

Like a friendly apparition—

Looking at a blank slate—

I fervently prayed for my voice to come—

To free itself from self-imposed chains—

It finally came, to my astonishment and relief.

And, oh, did it come in a torrent of thoughts and feelings—

Of those I did not know existed and they swam in my soul—

As I let the words flow,

I felt a release—

A release of my inner self that asked to be revealed

Throughout my life—

The friendly ghost finally freed—

Never to be held captive again.

To the surprise of all, that voice has remained to this day—

Strong in its desire to be heard and acknowledged—

That has a new thought to impart everyday—

My authentic voice is now audible—

For the world to heed!

Hope

Yesterday, as my internship ended, I thought how I compared myself to Emily Dickinson in one of my early blog posts.  The poem on my blog fits me precisely.  Emily Dickinson never penned truer words.  Hope, I discovered, is a thing with wings because it takes you places you never been before.  For me, my internship is proof of that. 

I would like to extend a grateful thanks to the staff at UCP, especially Lynda Bowen, who entrusted me with the internship, and allowed me to be part of their voice for a short time.  As I prepare for another journey this fall, I know I will look upon my college career, and life in general, with a renewed lease.  Most importantly, during my time at UCP, I learned if you follow your dreams, there is no telling what will come.  Just have HOPE!

Grace

Today, I wanted to do a little commentary on a movie I saw over the weekend.  Amish Grace is a moving testimonial of the Amish school shooting that happened near home a few years ago.  The movie represents the omnipresent faith and forgiveness these individuals posses, yet shows the human side of them as well.  As I watched the movie, I pondered my own faith and the ability to forgive, and like everyone, sometimes I fall short of this act.  I came to the realization that the mere thought of forgiveness is a way to cleanse the mind, but allows errors and us to be human.  What a revelation!

Growing Old

     Here is a short story I wrote a few years ago.  Again, it tells of a life experience I had.  It gives words to the meaning of life.  Read and enjoy!

Growing Old

           

            Ever since the Spring semester, I struggled with the pace of my life, particularly the rate that I was going in receiving college credits.  It seemed like it would be an eternity until I would be done with college and be a “success”, I thought.  The months of my summer vacation seemed to drag.  “I could be doing something about it, instead of doing absolutely nothing for three whole months,” I quibbled.

            One hot early July morning, Sal, who had been my step dad’s best friend, called my mom and asked if I wanted a vat of his homemade, very Italian spaghetti sauce, or “sorce”, as he called it.  I love his accent!  This had been a tradition ever since we had known Sal.  My heart soared because I love absolutely love his spaghetti sauce!  “I’ll bring all the makings.” he said on the phone.  “I’ll be there in a half hour, an hour, tops!” 

An hour later, Sal came tottering up the sidewalk, both hands full of plastic grocery bags.  As he came in the front door, he called out, “Okay, let’s get this party started!”

                   I instantly noticed how Sal had aged.  Lines were there on his face that weren’t there before and there was slowness in his walk.  He moved around in the kitchen with slow persistence. 

                   “Oh damn”, he suddenly said, “I forgot the oregano.  I always forget something anymore!”

                   My Mom piped up, “I’ll get it, Sal.  I need to go to the store anyway.”  She scurried out the door.  His irritation seemed to vanish instantly as he plopped on a kitchen chair.  He patted my knee and asked, “So how’s it going, Hope?”  His face showed genuine interest. 

                   “Okay, Sal,” I said, “still working on my degree.  Unfortunately, I have a way to go yet.  It drives me crazy—all of my friends graduated and have jobs and are out in the world making a living while I’m taking two classes a semester!”  I shook my head in disgust.

                   “Hope, you just saw what happened here.  I forgot the oregano.  No big deal.  People get so caught up in what they haven’t done.  Yes, I got upset about the oregano, but what is the use in getting all distressed about it,” he said, “and you are so very young.  Don’t be in such a hurry and get in a web of worries because maybe you will never get out of them.   You’ll turn old before you know it.  Enjoy life while you can. Be forever present in the moment and that will bring the greatest joy to your life”.

                   I looked at this man—this man who had lived for eighty odd years, been through wars, watched his beloved wife die from cancer, was forced to move out of his house because he was “too old” and was subject to his daughter-in-law’s every whim.  “He’s still happy,” I thought, “happy to just be”. 

                   Suddenly, I realized that Sal had a message for me.  I looked at this man with new eyes and a new heart, for he had reminded me of an invaluable lesson that day.  I repeated his words in my mind.  “Enjoy life while you can and be forever present in the moment and that will bring the greatest joy to your life”.  I silently thanked Sal for these words of wisdom as we sat down to a fabulous spaghetti meal.

The Mennonite Way

Yesterday, I encountered a truly amazing experience.  I had the opportunity to visit with both of my friend Alta’s grandmothers.  It was a perfect afternoon for a ride and and I leapt to get a glimpse of this different and fascinating world.  All the way in the car, I anticipated what conversations we would have; whether I’d be confortable or not.  I already met the one grandmother, but hadn’t the other.

While I visited with one grandmother, then the other, it struck me how our minds conjure misconceptions without even our knowledge.  As long as I remember, I have vigorously fought people’s perceptions of me and tried to display my true nature.  Yesterday, I realized I was guilty of the transgression of labeling individuals.  To my pleasure, I found myself completely comfortable with both grandmothers, even enjoying myself.  Ultimately, they accepted me and I them.  What a refreshing concept!  The world, I think, would be a better place if we followed the Mennonite way, with total acceptance of others.  Maybe someday, that will become our inherant nature.